Snow*Wench (Archive! S*W is no more!)

On Day 2, I attempted a 20 minute savasana pose before I went to sleep. It was difficult for me to allow my thoughts to pass through like water. Strangely, even though I tried this pose only minutes before I went to sleep, I found it very hard to relax.

Relax brings panic.

Relax makes me remember things that fall under duty, tasks, and the umbrella of unease.

I don’t think I achieved the ideal state of mind for savasana but by the end of my 20 minutes, I was able to achieve a quick “catch & release” mental place. It was refreshing to feel the stress that would normally bubble up underneath my skin when I try to relax, diminish.

Strangely, after that period of relaxation, I felt rejuvenated. I wanted to do things.

So maybe savasana is not the best for sleeping time. Maybe it is a good “wake up” pose. Maybe being still (dead) creates a physical and reactionary response to move (live).

Next time I attempt that pose, I want to try using some music or chanting to help encourage myself.

I also did yoga today, for Day 3. This time I used my Gaiam “Yoga for Beginners” with Rodney Yee video. It was really terrific for me, since I haven’t done yoga is a while, to revisit yoga at the beginning level. I realize that if I had tried to do the Power Yoga class first, I might have pushed myself too far. Even with short Rejuvenation sequence, I notice my flexibility has gone way way down since I last took classes.

I will use this DVD to work on regaining more flexibility and balance before I move onto more challenging yoga.

As for my 800 words today, I actually wrote a scene. Like, a fictional scene. I didn’t even finish it before I hit 1000 words. It probably is yucky yucky and needs editing or maybe to be set on fire, but that’s so not the point. I had a story in my head and it actually made it to a page. This is strangely wonderful and wonderfully strange. It may not even be good but I was there. I was seeing people and things happening to these people and I was trying to write it and I didn’t know how to convey everything without dissolving into a pile of description, so I maybe avoided description too much as a result.

There were parts of it that were sort of thrilling. There were parts of it that were disgusting and horrifying and I don’t think I accurately showed how much because I was too grossed out by the images. I’m still figuring out how Mayson (he’s the guy who has to run into the basement only to be confronted with, um, blood and screaming) would take in a scene that would probably reduce me to vomiting.

This is huge for me because the story feels real and I want to write it down.

But I feel really icky about what happened to poor Madison Porter and I hate hate hate her brother! I sort of don’t want to write about them because it’s sick and twisted. Like, why would this come from my brain? At the same time, I want to pull this “thread” and see where it leads. I mean, maybe I have this dark side to my imagination that I have yet to explore.

Beginnings are places to start, so I’m happy I at least made it to the starting place.

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I changed the layout to S*W because the other one was too big and bulky. I am starting to look into moving S*W to my domain. (Not soon, but sooner than later.)