Loving the 21.5.800 *Privately
I feel the need to address my concept of internet presence. It is really important because I am not so thrilled with how I’m governing my personal digi-land.
But first, why I haven’t been doing my duty and blogging about 21.5.800, even though I love it.
1. I keep doing the same thing–savasana and writing essays / that story. I do not have any new revelations to share. I am just enjoying the calm and the creativity. I don’t want to analyze it or keep an exacting record of it. I just want it to flow, like it has been.
2. “Time is of the essence.” I have to admit. I am up up up to my head in schoolwork and internship run-around and flight plans (Maui & California tomorrow). I am happy, but I’ve had to prioritize. The 21.5.800 is wonderful but I found out I didn’t like my self-assigned homework of detailing its progress. It’s so simple and so organic. So my desires + not a whole lot of dispensable time = retracting my homework and letting myself love 21.5.800 privately.
3. This little blog o’ joy and the whole internet presence deal. Okay. This is the best blog I’ve ever created. I’ve tried out many different platforms and schemes, but I either didn’t like where I was hosted or I didn’t like how I compartmentalized the things I liked: a blog for entertainment, a blog for inspiration, a blog for Hello Kitty, et cetera. This was a way to integrate everything I wanted to talk about into one. I had it all figured out!
Well, not everything, it turns out.
There is so much I want to do with this blog, but there are certain restrictions to a wordpress.com name — but I have my own site, I can host my own blog. I can (BIG gulp) try to design my own layout that fits my personal flair.
I am not so satisfied with S*W and I’m excited for the move. This also means I sorta don’t want to keep throwing more words and more content at a project that’s going to quickly have a new face and a new name.
And what’s in a name? Snow*Wench is very cute. However, I think when I move this blog I am going to adapt its name. . . I want something more catchy, more sing-song, more silly-with-a-touch-of-pretty.
I’ve struggled to recreate a-ha! moement I had when I made my first personal site. Or when I made pfenix.net’s layout. I am looking for that a-ha moment for my blog and maybe combining it with the personal site dream will create that moment.
Because even this blog restricts my material to categories. I want OUT. I want to rip down the structure I am constantly setting up for my writing and just do as I please.
Reclaiming the kingdom.
Throwing out the old rules and bringing in the new Me-ocracy.
. . .
Woo hoo!
I can think of a dozen reasons why this is awesome.
1. Pushing myself to be a better web designer & writer. I have shied away from WordPress for YEARS. I didn’t think I could install it. I felt like it would be too presumptuous to start a blog on my own space, with my own design. I probably I was still buying into my ever-present failure complex, I dunno. But this will finally put to rest an old and stupid fear, and at the same time, force me to do my absolute friggin’ best. One supreme effort, the one I grew up avoiding and now am trying to reign into everything I do. (It’s hard.)
2. Stop making excuses. Tied into much of what I just wrote. I won’t have any “I’m not a real blogger” or “It’s just a little thing, I don’t take it seriously” asshat reasons left.
3. A stronger web presence. I am not saying that you can’t have a successful blog that is hosted on a free journal server. There are several blogs that DO it that way and do it marvelously well, with all their own branding and style. However, I like total control and I can have that. I know a little bit about webdesign and I can do that too. Why shouldn’t I extend myself and make a site that’s uniquely me? (And not just another college student with a opinion.)
4. Have a home. I am sick of moving my web stuff around, trying to come up with fancy ideas and taking shortcuts. I want permanence. I am going to make a dream home online. It is going to be planned. It is going to be loved. And it will be made to last.
